Smoke and Mirrors

Smoke and mirrors is a metaphor for a deceptive, fraudulent or insubstantial explanation or description. The source of the name is based on magicians' illusions, where magicians make objects appear or disappear by extending or retracting mirrors amid a confusing burst of smoke. The expression may have a connotation of virtuosity or cleverness in carrying out such a deception. (Wikipedia)

Tonight the Board of SBFII meets again.  I see that a 'correction' has been made to the report of November 14th. It was done quietly yesterday afternoon.  In fact, had I not looked myself I would have had no idea this had happened. Nevertheless, I am grateful for the amendment.   My time travel days are over. I hope we get no more 'smoke and mirrors' from tonight's meeting.

To get the right answers, one has first to ask the right questions...

The Board's 'independent' investigation into the events of July 18th failed to ask the right questions of the expert.  

The 'Independent' investigation promised to members was to be conducted by someone not involved directly with current Staff or Board Members. It was moved (unknown to members and lchris/dyebat) to be conducted at the home of the Director of the Board by a friend/neighbour of her son.

All seven members of the Board approved this. All seven members of the Board presented this report to members as their 'Independent' investigation. What is untenable is the fact that two (staff) Board members signed the original report dated November 14th even though they knew it contained statements that were at best misleading.  How on earth could this have happened?  Are they not aware of the weight such a statement carries?

From the official report of that investigation the investigator was asked to "examine the data base to see if there was any evidence of hacking, or interference and to comment upon the database errors which we were and are continuing to experience."

Had this been a genuinely neutral investigation all involved should have been asked a few questions in order to piece together the chronology. Neither Xeno, lchris, dyebat or I were ever asked any questions by the investigator. lchris collected data throughout, yet no one asked for it.  The findings would have been very different had this happened.

But sometimes it pays to ask people the wrong questions so you can make the outcome appear to be suitable for your purposes.

I want to give credit to two technical analysts on the forum who, after the events of July 18th, came to lchris and apologised unreservedly for their part in the confusion that night. They told Chris they had created two admin accounts because they genuinely believed that the forum was under attack (by the faction named by the cyber stalker bully.)  They had been unable to grant super-admin powers to those accounts, but their logic at that time had been perfectly rational.  Was it any wonder they were led to believe that the attack was genuine, when another staff member had issued a call to arms earlier that day?

It was by working with certain staff members, and others, that the cyber stalker was so successful.  He did not have to repeat his deceptions; the 'team' did it for him.  That gave his lies far more credence.

What I find extremely difficult to come to terms with is the assertion that those two new admin accounts were created as 'redundancy' (safeguards).  It makes no sense that two experienced technical officers should practise a fire drill if they thought the building was genuinely on fire!  The truth, on the other hand, makes perfect sense.  If those two accounts were authorised, they were authorised retrospectively; not on July 18th/19th.

But I still find it incredulous that the report also laid the effect of the troll's influence firmly at our door.  By 'our' I mean lchris, dyebat and me.

I really think it is time for people to stand up and 'fess up.

Some of the staff, some Board members, and some of the general members know more of this story and are keeping quiet, allowing innocent people to take the blame. To them I would say, you owe all of us in the Susan Boyle community the truth. We want to move on and forward in unity. You are preventing that. There is no shame in telling the truth.

Food for Thought.

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving Day in The U.S.A.  Americans are enjoying a holiday that is centred around food.  My family and I all have plenty and for that I am thankful.

Although we don't celebrate Thanksgiving here, the thought was enough to make me reflect about what I have to be thankful for this year, and it is a lot.

First of all, I still have my husband.  He was very seriously ill earlier in the year and spent most of the summer in hospital, prior to heart surgery.  Yesterday he had his 62nd birthday; the birthday that he most likely would not have lived to celebrate.  For that I am thankful.

In times such as these, you begin to realise who your real friends are.  I have been blessed this year with the support of friends of long standing and that of friends whom I have never actually met, but who could not have done more had they been family.  For all of them, I am thankful.

During the last year, in times of great trouble, I have laughed with people and cried with them.  I have found myself totally supportive of forum members with whom I have been at odds in the past, and at odds with those I had thought friends.  It has been a year of enlightenment; for that I am thankful.

I was blessed (or cursed) with an enquiring mind.  I have always questioned things that made no sense to me and that has not always made life easier.  Nevertheless, in 57 years it has taught me one thing, and that is, it is better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot.  For that life lesson I am thankful.

I have been accused of many things during the past year, from being a time traveller to a dangerous international cyber-hacker.  Unfortunately time is linear and my level of computer skills would make the average 14-year old laugh.   Although a few people have dropped me from their friends lists, blocked me from following them on twitter and even attacked me personally and publicly, I have to remember that there are also those who have gone out of their way to send me a kind word or message of support.  For those individuals I am thankful.

This last year has been stressful and difficult for a number of reasons. I am grateful that I have come through it intact.  I could not have done so without conviction.  When I look at myself in the mirror, my conscience is clear.  For that I am thankful.

Thank you to my American friends, for reminding me that I have so very much to be thankful for.

Back to the Future?

For tonight's blog I have to refer you to a previous post, because something rather strange has happened in the thread that has caused so much contention on the forum.  It seems some posts have 'disappeared'

Take a look!

Peace in Our Time - Updated November 22nd 2010

Whatever could have happened?!

Oh, What a Tangled Web We Weave....

Oh what a tangled web we weave,
When first we practise to deceive!
(Sir Walter Scott)

I thought tonight I would give you a little more insight into our common enemy; the cyber stalker.

As I have posted before, he is many different things to different people.  He has woven webs upon webs of different identities, often posting to support himself in another guise.

Here are some of his posts.  Pay particular attention to his syntax; those of you who have had direct contact with him will doubtless recognise his 'style'.

I came across the cyber stalker today at Peace FM Online

You will find him posting there as Jessy, Jessie, Drake, Hola, Nebs and Marion.  At least six IDs on one site in one day....

Thankfully 'Adam' recognises him as well.

Apart from the many forum names we are familiar with on our forum, he is a regular poster at Irish Central, under several different names.  Belfastjames is just one of them.

I am providing links so that you can check him out for yourself.  The posts do not make pleasant reading, but everyone should be aware.  Those who were in touch with him  (and those who still are) will be able to see for themselves what he really thinks of Susan.

Susan Boyle More Popular Than Michael Jackson for Sony

Susan Boyle's One Year Anniversary is a Record Breaking Party

Dame Kiri Slams Susan Boyle's Overnight Success

Susan Boyle Throws Some Shapes for the Cameras
(in this article you can see what he really thinks of Susan's fans as well).

Is Susan Boyle Being Poorly Managed?

Will Susan Boyle be Lucky or Unlucky in Love?

Many of you will see your names and comments alongside that of belfastjames.  

Some of you even thought him a valuable informant and true supporter of Miss Boyle - as I once did.  But he is something else entirely.  I now recognize that he was capable of saying anything.  He is the source of many rumours and outright lies about Susan Boyle and about her fans.

I regret very much that I was taken in by this cyber stalker bully, but I will stand up to be counted.

Anyone else care to join me?

Every time you come into contact with this cyber stalker bully, he damages the entire Susan Boyle community.  Every time you stay silent about it, he is empowered, and he has won again.

A Lingering Sense of Injustice

To know what is right and not do it is the worst cowardice.  ~Confucius

Why did I start a blog?

Imagine that one day you find yourself accused of something of which you are entirely innocent.  It is not just repeated in private.  It is posted in a thread on the forum.  The claims are outrageous and very damaging. Many people around you believe the lies  because they 'originated' from someone well respected.

You can tell from the attitude of others that the lies are believed, but no-one actually asks you if the allegations are true!  You go immediately to the person who posted those lies and you have lengthy correspondence in which you do your best to explain the truth, all to no avail.  Your accuser concedes one or two points but claims that, should he apologise, he would feel it necessary to resign from the forum, even though you insist that you would never consider that necessary.  You even go so far as to say that you would publicly ask him to rescind his resignation if he felt obliged to offer it, but even that fails to move him.

You go to administrators next, who by this time acknowledge that the information was given to the OP by someone they have banned many times before.  But when you try to insist upon a retraction, you are told that they have no authority to issue one.  They know the truth, but act to remove the offending thread only after the threat of litigation.

Imagine then that you receive a screen capture of a PM from someone who has also been concerned about the thread and who has contacted the OP directly to ask if he had been given authority to post it.  The contents of the thread do directly contradict the rules of the forum after all!  That screen capture shows quite clearly the OP admitting that he had received permission from 'administration' to go ahead and post it.  It tells me that he had a mandate to do it!

In the meantime, your friends, who know the truth as well as you do yourself, witness your distress.  They learn of your endeavours to clear your name and, as months pass, your frustration becomes theirs as well....

They try to help in the only way they know how, because they are the only people who know the truth. They try to raise the matter on the forum, when the moment seems appropriate, but of course they are dismissed as 'the same few people' each time.

You decide to write to the Board.  In order that the matter is not overlooked you write to each member of the Board, including the Chairperson and Vice Chairman.  You request read-receipts for the PMs and one by one they come back to you.  You allow yourself to feel a little more optimistic.  Surely now, someone will act.  Some three weeks later you get an acknowledgement from the Chairperson of the Board telling you that the matter will be discussed at the next Board meeting, and so you wait...and wait....and wait.....

Eventually a short message from the Board is posted. Within it is incorporated something that resembles a blanket apology because it refers to 'perceived slights'.  Your heart sinks.

Your friends, of course, also see what is happening. They see your distress but feel impotent to help; they cannot ease your pain, because they are not responsible for it. Their sense of injustice is now so intense that they begin to raise the matter again, in the threads on the forum.  After all, their names were blackened along with yours, in the morass of lies that have been told about you.

Moderators and administrators get further enraged because they cannot keep the lid on 'these same people' who keep coming back and causing ‘trouble’.  Of course we follow the wonderful news about Susan and participate on the forum.  But our enjoyment of these things is tainted by the lingering residue of injustice.  Surely there must be someone who will listen to the truth we think, so we keep trying…

Then, in an act worthy of Stalin or Pinochet, a list of edicts is put into force from the Board; no. 6 is is custom-made, or so it seems:

6. The board has taken the view that there are a small number of members who post only on contentious matters, and who rarely if ever post about Susan . They come to the forum only to resurrect past issues. The board will direct the staff to delete any posts which continue to disrupt the forum in this manner, and if necessary to terminate the membership of habitual offenders.

You have borne this all for four months now.  During that time certain 'facts' have become established in many peoples' minds, and you have tried your best to ignore the many snarky comments aimed in your direction along the way.  But deep in your heart you know you have to clear your name.

So, after every door is shut in your face and every other avenue blocked, you do what I am doing now; you put the facts - the truth - in a blog and then you tweet it a couple of times to do your best to ensure that the people who read the lies, also have the chance to read the truth.

So that is why I have started this blog.  Even though my nature is to negotiate and reason, I felt I had exhausted every channel by conventional means to overcome the problem with diplomacy.  After other doors were closed to me, it became my best option for getting my story out.

With Open Eyes and a True Heart

On a day when we are celebrating Susan's phenomenal record-breaking success, I want to acknowledge her latest achievements here in this blog.  We must never lose sight of what drew us together in the first place.

• Susan Boyle has become the first female artist ever to hold, simultaneously, both the US and UK No1 spots twice in less than 12 months.  What an incredible achievement!

• With her albums - last year's I Dreamed A Dream and  newly released The Gift, Susan is one of only three acts to have ever accomplished this - the others being The Monkees in 1967 and The Beatles in 1969. 

• The Gift has also been named the fastest-selling holiday album ever!  Susan just keeps on raising the bar...

Love and congratulations to you Susan!  No-one deserves these accolades more than you.  And there's more to come - WOW!

Tonight I also want to re-post an apology I made on November 1st.  It was on a thread at the forum that was quickly closed, so probably not many members saw it. Here is a link for members: Post #6

For those unable to access the forum, these are my words,

I would hate what happened to me to mar the bigger picture.

Whilst I am completely innocent of the crimes the cyber stalker implied, I said some foolish and unwise things in anger on what should have been (and used to be) a completely closed forum among what I thought were friends. In other words I 'vented'. That was almost 10 months ago now, but nothing 'disappears' in cyber space. Our kind words and sentiments are completely overshadowed by moments of anger. Even benign comments can be taken out of context.

Of course, several people have brought screen caps here and members of this forum have subsequently been hurt. For that I apologise unreservedly, because they were not intended to do that. My words were never intended to be witnessed outside of the circle I once belonged to. I can even see now that some of the things I genuinely believed to be true were lies perpetrated initially by our cyber-stalker troll. I can only hope that I am older and wiser now....

Bullying and stalking can take many, many forms. No-one must ever, ever, be afraid to report anything they feel goes beyond their comfort zone, either online or in real life. Each time we hesitate, another bully wins.

The current situation has been difficult for everyone.  Board members, I feel, have a particularly difficult task.  They can only work from what is presented to them, and hopefully learn to ask the right questions.

My best hope has always been that they undertake their responsibilities with open eyes and a true heart. We can neither ask, nor expect, any more from them.

Through a Glass, Darkly

For now we see through a glass darkly, but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known. (Corinthians 13:12)

A whole day of discussion has ensued following the Board's report and I am, frankly, more concerned than angry.

The facts of whether or not I unbanned anyone were easy to check.  There is NO reason why the Board could not have done this.  It begs the question as to why they did not.  Was there not a single Board member interested enough to verify the simple facts?  Was there not a single Board member who thought it might be a good idea to check with me before publishing that report?

I have prepared a time line.  Indulge me readers, to see what I mean.

Posts 891 to 921 are relevant to this blog. Post #891

The date is 07-19-2010 at 2.59AM.

UKSusanfanAnn posted that 'LEM' was on the page.  She was referring to Lovin' Every Minute. Strange that she knew her by the diminutive her friends call her...the cyber-troll would have known that of course.

One minute later at 3.00AM 

Hulapig announced that 'banned and resigned members' were being let back in.

A member asked if anyone had seen LEM before as she did not recognise her.  

at 3.06AM
Hulapig replied that she was a banned member and that (YOUR) staff was not doing it.

at 3.09AM I welcomed LEM back. I was delighted to see her.

at 3.12AM WAMcKinley posted that according to her memory LEM was an ex-moderator who had resigned and had been banned for no discernible reason.  She posted that she wondered if LEM had been awarded amnesty (which is her opinion would have been richly deserved).  This was the first mention of amnesty.

at 3.12AM (contemporaneously with WAM) but in response to Hulapig I said I thought there had been some confusion as LEM has not been banned; she had resigned.

at 3.15AM - just 16 mins. after LEM had been spotted on the page, Hulapig posted (in response to an enquiry to Bubblegum) that he 'might want to ask CL' because she thought I 'had a clue'.

At this point I was not a moderator, yet LEM was on the page.  I had been accused of letting banned members in.  The other two former members were mentioned by UKSusanfanAnn as being on the page at 3.41am.  I was still not a Moderator.

11.15PM -: Some 20 hours after Hulapig had hinted heavily that I 'might have a clue' what was going on, I volunteered to become a temporary Mod/admin in response to a request for help by lchris which was posted on the forum.  I did so after WAMcKinley, whose name I had put forward at 6.29pm, declined. Call For Staff Volunteers

I can but wonder why were they content to let me become the fall guy for that incident?  And now that it has been shown that I did NOT do it, is anyone interested in finding out who did?

Why was the email from Lonnirose overlooked/ignored by the Board when it clearly proved that the staff had been told of a plan and had formed a plan of their own to counteract it?  That would be understandable.

Why was the email from Danileo and JudyOkla, stating their intention to open a new website and circulated to some members not taken into consideration? 

I know there are good people on the Board.  Will not one of them at least stand up and demand that the report be re-written with some degree of accuracy?

On the Internet, No-one Knows You're a Dog

(cartoon by Peter Steiner)

It has been something of a long day today.  Some obstacles overcome and progress made; some still to face.  I have always tended to judge people on what they do, rather than what they say.  Some people talk a very good game....

Today was a day of reflection, amongst other things.  How much do we really 'know' about the people we think we 'know'?

I borrowed the iconic cartoon image from Peter Steiner to illustrate tonight's blog.

My husband used to refer to my forum friends as 'virtual friends'.  Thanks to Skype, I speak to most of them now, on a regular basis.  They become less 'virtual' and more real each time.  Even my husband speaks to one of them, and they exchange video clips!  Who'd a thunk it? But even that does not guarantee safety on the internet.

Some people are unwilling to chat by voice.  Those are the virtual friends of whom, perhaps, we should be wary.

I had a long period of correspondence with the cyber-troll; mostly about trivia, trips to the cinema and travelling.  I suggested a couple of times that we chat.  He always ignored that request, or had some excuse.

Someone on the forum once asked him what accent he had, and he replied that he had a Norfolk accent.  I am familiar with Norfolk accents, coincidentally.  I wonder if he avoided talking to me because he actually had the 'wrong' accent?  Intriguing, isn't it?

The important thing is, take nothing for granted.  That handsome 6' hunk you think you are talking to could be anything from a fictional character to something far, far more sinister.....

Think safety always.  You know it makes sense!

More tomorrow folks.  It's been a very looooooong day.

A Poisoned Chalice?

I had intended to write about something entirely different tonight.  However, the long-awaited report from the Board at susan-boyle.com was posted this evening and I am bemused, to say the least.

It seems in their enthusiasm to apologise to everyone concerned, several pertinent facts have been misrepresented and the time line confused.

Tomorrow will be the day to examine the report in order to respond to it in detail.

One thing I wish to make absolutely clear tonight is that in the Board's statement I am indicated as the 'temporary admin' (who said) "she thought the amnesty that had been discussed, had commenced".  However, I never said that I admitted the banned member.  I was not a moderator at the time this event took place.  The Board had been informed of this fact on August 4th.  The config files (obtained from Hostgator) confirmed this.

The other issue that I have to address tonight is the implication that lchris may have been influenced by the troll.  I refute absolutely that Chris has been influenced in this way.  Chris works from data rather from an emotional platform.

As stated in earlier blogs, the troll's influence was pervasive, but it was working in another direction.   Lonnirose was in contact with the troll and influenced by him as witnessed by her email dated July 18th (4.16pm EST) in which she called for members to post against Chris and Dyebat's actions.  She falsely claimed that they were in league with DJG and his followers.  She further claimed that support for Chris and Dyebat was 'proof' of the attack.

CanadianBill was also in contact with, and influenced by, the troll. I have an email from CanadianBill in which he shares what the cyber-troll told him:

"The night  of that trouble CL made a post saying "the back door of EW is open and just logon with your old account name an passwords".

This statement made by the cyber-troll is totally untrue.  Even tonight, he continues to send out messages to people, trying to "prove" that I was responsible for the admission of the banned member.  But there are records that show otherwise.  The data will speak for itself.

So, whilst I had hoped against hope that we could draw a line and move on, we are faced with at worst, a poisoned chalice; at best appeasement.  Personally, I would rather wait for the whole truth, which is yet to be revealed.

"What! Can the Devil Speak True?"

Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage
And then is heard no more: it is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.  (Macbeth)

Against all propriety, and rule no.10, CanadianBill started a thread accusing me (and members of another forum) of attempting to take over susan-boyle.com.  It was outrageous.  It was false.  It was defamatory.

Where did he get such an idea?

He got it because he was in communication with  a cyber-stalker bully-troll who had made it his mission to divide the Susan Boyle fan community and to do Susan Boyle's reputation harm.

Why did the cyber-troll target me?  Because I had recently banned him from a forum where I am an administrator.  

He told CanadianBill many things that were not true and distorted others.

That was abominable in itself.  It hit even harder when another member shared with me a PM she had received from CanadianBill in which he gave her assurances that he had the full support of administrators to post such a thread, because they had approved it.  I still have that PM.

CanadianBill put a very sinister slant on ordinary activities.  He noted the fact that members of a forum, accused by moderators of being involved in the 'takeover plot',  posted in defence of Dyebat and lchris. He insinuated that 'proved' they were involved in some kind of conspiracy.  The fact is those individuals knew there was no plot and were simply stating the truth.

CanadianBill claimed falsely that there was a 'hit list' and that he was on it.  

I have described in an earlier post how the cyber-troll was 'all things to all people'.  Maybe what he said appealed to Bill's vanity.  That is the only explanation I can come up with, because in all honesty I rarely give CanadianBill more than a passing thought.  I have no reason whatsoever to be in the least interested in his whereabouts, or his activities.  I do remember the cyber-troll trying to initiate conversations about personal details of some staff members of susan-boyle.com, but CanadianBill never figured then either.

CanadianBill was somehow convinced that I 'had it in for him' because he opposed me in the great Shipper debate over a year ago.  In reality, CanadianBill had less to do with that debate than Dyebat.  Dyebat started the thread and led the motion opposing me, yet CanadianBill accused me of being in collusion with her. This tends to undermine the idea that I still held a grudge against the pro-shippers.

I initiated a chain of correspondence with CanadianBill in which I asked him to have the thread taken down from the forum as it was libellous.  He refused.  He refused even when he was made aware that he had received his information from the cyber-stalker troll.  

CanadianBill wrote to me that even should he feel there was reason to apologise, he had to consider the 'knock on effects'  for the Forum and the bigger picture. He told me he had consulted with the admin  and they had said that he should do whatever he believed was right for him. He told me that he knew the staff was concerned about resurrecting the issue, and whilst 'he and I' might be civilised, experience had told him that not every one would be. In the interest of avoiding 'discord' he was willing to let the lies stand.

After the series of emails, in which clearly no real progress was being made, I came to the conclusion that pride was a very great factor in what had happened, and that it prevented 'closure.'  Nothing has happened since to make me change my mind. 

CanadianBill's refusal to retract his accusations has allowed the cyber-stalker bully to win.  Shame on that criminal for doing what he did.  Shame on CanadianBill for aiding him.

The greatest enemy of knowledge is not ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge. (Stephen Hawking)

Addendum:  CanadianBill's  thread was only taken down after speaking at length with Pickled Tink when it was pointed out that the thread was libelous. It had stood, on the forum, for well over a week.

The Time Has Come...

"The time has come" the walrus said,
"To speak of many things"
Of trolls and goals and mod controls
Of banishments and things...
And why this blog is boiling hot
and whether pigs have wings!

"Just go away," the shippers said,
“Go find another thread”
And when they called her toxic waste
The laughter was widespread....
If only she would leave with haste,
They’d get back to their thread!

"Go over to the prayer thread"
Was the shipper’s advice.
But that was not to be because
They chased her away twice!
Did those who said mean things
to her, ever pay any price?



I do not intend the bring further embarrassment by naming members who said some appallingly cruel things to a member who received a week's ban many months ago.  They will recognise themselves I am sure.  

The sad and troubling thing about this particular (former) member is that she went on to receive another formal warning (from a former administrator) for something that someone else was guilty of.  The real guilty party was our cyber-stalker bully.  He reported other YouTube videos for copyright infringement as well as the one that caused our friend's banishment. None of us knew that at the time, but we know better now.

So friends, the next time you see 'the same people' harping back to the past 'unable to move on', please remember that some of us are aware of injustices that had, and still have, a lasting effect on those we care about.  This is the sort of thing that happens when we have no recourse to right wrongs.

Perhaps we should stop and remember, "There but for the grace of God go you or I".

Peace in Our Time? - Updated November 22nd 2010.

Since I first made this blog entry I have been alerted by Pickled Tink that 'several folk' have raised with her the fact that they did not give permission for me to quote their posts from the forum in this blog.  For that I apologise.  I also accept that I was in violation of rule 8 of the forum.  (The fact that CanadianBill was in violation of rule 10 when he posted his thread about me seems not to have been a problem.)

I checked back to this blog entry today (November 22nd 2010) only to find that some of the posts in this (closed) thread have been changed.  This is what I have found:

Post #437 is now #430

Post #1092 is now #1083

Post #1437 is now #1463

Post #955 is now post #946

Post #1024 is now post #1015

Post #1038 is now post #1029

When I first posted the links, the post numbers were correct.  Since then, the numbers of the posts I quoted have changed.  That can happen when posts are deleted and the remaining posts change to lower numbers.  But this was a closed thread.  How could it have happened here?  Was the thread opened in order to delete posts?   Did someone want to hide something?  Was someone simply being petty?  

It is a mystery.....

I am amending my links here accordingly.

On November 10th 2010 Pickled Tink posted that a lot of things had occurred and a lot of folk had been hurt across the forum, the actions of one individual had had us all at each others throats, mistrusting each other, and believing all sorts of rumours about each other.

Why is a retraction of these rumours so important?

Is it to assuage pride?
Is it to nurse bruised egos?
Is it as balm for hurt feelings?

No, it is not. Above all else, it is to disempower the cyber-stalker bully who left many, many victims in his wake.

We have a choice; to remain victims and try to brush over the effects of his malicious communications or we can make a stand and disempower him completely.

It must be the latter.  Anything else sends out an ambiguous message to this kind of criminal.  Any degree of success encourages him.  He has been prolific and persistent.

This man is a recidivist offender.

He will, after winning your trust, ask if you have heard a rumour about something.  If you show any degree of interest, he can give you the email address of someone else who will be happy to confirm the rumour.  This 'other person' will, of course, be another of his identities.

He will be male, female, gay, straight; even a mother mourning the loss of a child.  But in order to win your trust initially, he will always be an ardent fan of Susan Boyle.

He will offer you tidbits of insider information, about music matters in particular.  Most will check out, which will make you feel 'special'.

To all intents and purposes this man will be your friend.  But he will turn on you when the moment suits him and when he can use you to his advantage.  Many of you will feel very threatened, because he has lead you to believe that he has power and influence.

Secrecy is the name of the game for this manipulator.  He starts with PMs and then requests an email address.  He gets away with things because he creates an almost intimate atmosphere between you, and that is his strength.

The effects that this criminal's activities had on members and staff of the forum (paraphrased) and linked from events July 17th - 20th:

07-18-2010 12:30 PM Lonnirose posted that it was the same people over and over (causing the problem).  She accused Dyebat and lchris of joining forces with people who were attempting to destroy the forum.

Lonnirose post #430

07-19-2010 05:03 AM Truusbuist posted that there was a planned takeover and that Dyebat and lchris were not honest. Truusbuist post #1083

07-20-2010 01.41 AM Waldog posted that the creation of the (transparency) thread was all the proof anyone needed as to who had the best interests of the members at heart.  He also accused Dyebat and lchris of lying and conspiracy.  Waldog post 1463

07.19.2010 3.33AM Hulapig’s posts began to be so out of character that members questioned whether it was really her posting.  (It was.)  She thought she knew the “ringleaders” of the fiasco. Hulapig post #946 She said there would be a place for “all of us”. Hulapig post #1015  Did she refer to the new site Judy had set up?

Hulapig seemed to delight in pronouncing that banned members were being let in.  She denied doing it herself, but implied lchiris had.  Hulapig post #1029  She claimed that as a member of DJG’s, I would know what was going on.  I did not.

For the record, I was a member of DJG's forum in the early days but resigned my membership there in February 2010.  I have never been back since.

On August 20th/21st another thread was opened on the forum at susan-boyle.com entitled, "Some Urgent Questions For All".

CanadianBill said that he stood with the Admins and Mods who were 'treated very badly'.  He said the forum has been betrayed and duped - but not by staff.  He claimed that I, along with lchris and friends at another forum had been 'working together for a long while to orchestrate this.  In secret.'

This statement leads me to believe that the O.P. (CanadianBill) was sanctioned by Admin to post in such a way that is directly in contravention of Rule 10 of the forum.

The so-called conspiracy was entirely false.  The people who were duped were those listening to the cyber-stalker.

I did have some ideas about ways to minimize some of the problems that continued to plague the forum. I discussed this with both admins on July 13.  It was not done in secret.  We worked to forge a mutually acceptable way forward.  At that point I had every reason to be optimistic because I had no idea what was being said about me behind the scenes.

What on earth could anyone have had to gain in sabotaging a peace plan?

Today in the UK it is Armistice Day (Veterans' Day in the U.S.) and I cannot help but mourn the fact that our own peace plan was so promptly and thoroughly undermined.

Are we going to let the cyber-stalker bully win this?
I hope not......

Are We Having Fun Yet?

"Remember,without the staff,the forum would not have paramaters (sic), anything goes would be the rule, and it would notbe a fun place to be."

Are we having fun yet?

The forum  was certainly not a 'fun place' to be in July and August this year.....

I really am beginning to wonder just how much (or how little!) members know about what really happened on the forum in July and August.  It certainly was not a 'fun' place to be; for me anyway.

One of the elephants in the room is involvement of staff in the events of mid-July. In the middle of the chaos and disruption, I was shown an email written by a long-term and well respected member of staff in which she sent a warning to members that another small forum had plans to take over the forum at forum.susan-boyle.com.  It was obvious to me that she had been totally misinformed and so I wrote to her, to try to reassure her I knew of no such plan.  She replied to me and denied that she had sent it. 

She lied to me and I knew it.

It was to be another three or four weeks before I discovered who the instigator of that rumour was.  It was the cyber-bully who we now know was responsible for a plethora of problems on Susan Boyle fansites.

What I have great difficulty coming to terms with is why his word was accepted by staff who had already banned him under a number of different names on the same forum.

In August a thread was posted by someone I thought was an honourable member of the forum.  It libelled me and it repeated lies that were passed by the cyber-stalker troll to him.  It was allowed to stand by the staff for a week and only removed when it was pointed out that it could result in legal action.

Whilst I do appreciate the time and effort staff at the forum spend on a daily basis, my confidence has been badly shaken and it will take time to be restored.  No-one can demand respect.  I'm afraid that has to be warranted.  Baby steps.....

A New Birth of Freedom

Five months ago members of the largest Susan Boyle fansite forum conceived a new idea; they would purchase the forum themselves, all members owning it equally. Members and former members united as never before, in a spirit of reconciliation and in the hope of a united future.

The blueprint of this Utopian concept quickly became polluted by a cyber-stalker/bully determined to ensure that this never happened. The lies this person told were believed by some members and staff alike. Staff even supported a few members in posting false claims against other members.

When the source of the deception was revealed, staff members still allowed the thread to stand on open view for many days. The members who were vilified could do nothing to clear their names, because the staff did not permit them to do so. But they were promised an independent enquiry that would be made public. And so the accused waited patiently, knowing that the evidence would clear them.

That enquiry, if it ever took place, was not made public. In fact, many months passed and when the accused members raised it on the forum they were told that it was 'in the past' and that it would not be brought to the attention of the general members again. Contacting Board or staff by private message produced the same result. When they voiced their dissatisfaction and dismay, they were accused of sedition and the Board of Directors (supposedly working on behalf of all members) made a point in a formal statement, that any members posting 'contentiously' would be banned. All the while the cyber-stalker/bully retained a presence on the forum under different guises.

In this time of universal deceit - telling the truth truly became a revolutionary act.

We are now engaged in a conflict brought about by lies compounded by deceit. What can we do? Most of us would still move forward, if the record could be set straight, but all that is needed for evil to prevail is for good men to do nothing.

This fledgling democracy, of the fans, by the fans and for the fans, to which many of us have been so dedicated, must endure, but can it do so when its very foundations have been so weakened?

I hope that it can.

Susan Boyle's Second Interview With Oprah Winfrey, October 2010.

I was so relieved to see how much more comfortable Susan and Oprah were with each other, in this second interview, but I do wish someone somewhere would find Susan a suitable chair to sit on!

This was an interview with a purpose.

In her recent autobiography, Susan Boyle revealed that she had been bullied mercilessly as a child, and it was around this topic that the interview was based.  Oprah asked Susan to describe what had happened to her.

No-one could fail to be moved by Susan's recollections of bring bullied as a child.  

Despite having her clothes burnt by cigarettes, Susan revealed that it was the persistent name-calling that caused her permanent scars.  She felt as if she was a target; that she didn't matter.  That is a soul destroying experience for anyone, much less a child.

Her experiences made Susan feel as if nobody loved her, and that gave the bullies power.

Susan told Oprah,  "In my case it was a small group of teenage girls that put me to that place. They're the worst kind. It can really hold you back and damage you. Mental bullying is the worst kind of bullying."

It would have been difficult for an outsider to detect what kind of childhood Susan had experienced.  She looked every part the princess she claimed to feel now.

Bullying comes in many different forms.  No-one should hesitate to seek help, especially from those best-placed to do something about it. But if they refuse, what then?

What can we do if we are being bullied and those in a position to help, refuse?

Keep seeking help in whatever way you can, wherever you can and do not become intimidated.

Each time you fail to demand help, another bully wins. 

Review of A Perfect Day Video

I have just watched Susan's debut music video, A Perfect Day.  If anyone out there still has doubts that Susan could perform this Lou Reed number and make it her own, let them surrender now.  Susan was superb.


Everything I hoped for was in this performance.  Susan expressed masterfully all the nuances that the consuming passion of a love affair brings, embracing all of its agony and ecstasy.

Even the weather helped to evoke the dichotomy between the perfect day and the present.  When Lou Reed wrote the song, I'm pretty sure his 'perfect day' had little to do with the weather. I don't think Susan's interpretation of it did either.

I think Susan's performance was far from the superficial interpretation some have given this song.  It is very, very powerful in her hands. 

Her rendition is profound and in it she encapsulates what many of us recognise; that 'perfect day' can never be revisited.

We all have to reap just what we sow, and bear the consequences....

The more we take responsibility for our past and present, the more we are able to create the future we seek.

Susan Boyle's Interview With Piers Morgan - Taking the Path of Truth

I sat and watched the Piers Morgan's interview with Susan Boyle this evening and was impressed by Susan's refreshing honesty above all else.  Susan confided openly, for the first time, an introspective view of her enforced stay at The Priory.  She felt she had lost everyone.  She felt 'dumped'.  It took her a year to get over that experience.  How easy it was to imagine that she quickly put it behind her in the light of the phenomenal success of her career.

Susan spoke about the childhood experiences that shaped her life.  The psychological damage Susan suffered at the hands of the bullies who haunted her childhood has left scars.  It seems in many ways her childhood was an uphill battle.  She resented bitterly that she had been labelled as 'less than whole'; that she would 'never amount to anything' and made it quite clear that she has spent her life proving doctors and other people wrong.

That is a very natural response when one has been labeled as something one is not.  I applaud her for her courage and for her tenacity.  Through sheer determination she persisted because she knew they were wrong. 

I can relate to that.....

Susan Boyle has struggled all her life for the truth she knew existed to be recognised.  Her path was hard and it took courage for her to remain fixed on her goal whilst all around her used their best powers of persuasion to stifle her.

The recognition that she is 'a worthwhile person' is a truth that she fought hard for, and ultimately won.  It was confidence in her God-given talent that ensured she never fell from her chosen path.  That reminds me of a quotation I read somewhere,

"Hiding in the shadows of falsehood, makes it impossible to move forward."  How true that is and well it can be applied to life generally.